Learning Journal

Negative comments shall be the subject of this journal.
I was talking with one teachery acquaintance of mine about who to model oneself after, as the film Dead Poet's Society had been brought up. I said that I did not model myself after Robin Williams in that film, more Robin Williams from Mork and Mindy. (It was a very refreshingly clever joke, yes?) My acquaintance said: 'I model myself after whichever teacher is the most cynical and doesn't want to be here.'
Hmm.
And, the day after, as I trekked around the college, another acquaintance passed me on the stairs and remarked: 'How can you look so happy in this [expletive deleted]?'.
Hmm.
Teaching is certainly a job that few enjoy. My mother, having trained as a secondary school teacher, can attest to this. My mentors try their best to present a good face, but even they sometimes complain. And other FE teachers I talk too rarely have much good to talk about.
Therefore - how can I look happy? The question my acquaintance seemed to be asking, I believe, was: "I am ground down. I am ill. I am tired. I have been defeated, day after day, unable to complete my job. The students are against me, not wanting to be taught with what I am given to teach. Those who control the curriculum are against me, making wilful changes and making me adapt to things that I do not agree with. The politicians are against me, demanding more and more and giving less and less. Society is against me, angry with exam results whether they are good or bad. And all my fellow teachers can do is corroborate in my unhappiness with their own misery. Why do you smile? How can you smile? What is this smile? I want a smile. Give me a smile."
I suppose I am happy because I don't accept colleges or education or anything as they are. I came onto this course recognising that few are happy with all this. I didn't expect it to be easy, and I didn't expect many people to be teachers for very long. Most drop out, little burnt bacon frazzles.
And I suppose I'm happy because I am not here to learn how to educate, but to learn how our present education system works, and wonder how to improve it. If I'd come onto the course interested in learning how to be an FE teacher, I can imagine how unhappy I would be. The sad truth is that we don't really know how to teach, for we have only a beginning understanding of 'learning', of communicating knowledge, of what knowledge even is, and what we are told to do is wrong in so many ways. Philosophers have not found a sound base for epistemology yet, and we are supposed to teach knowledge? It is quite amusing, to me, and this is why I can smile.
It's not a joke that many people would comprehend.